On Saturday, at 9:38PM, I received a call from a withheld number. Not expecting a call, and especially from a withheld number at that time of night, made me feel uneasy. I immediately thought that there was something wrong and some kind of terrible news was coming my way about a family member or friend. I answered the call, and it was a police officer asking if I was the owner of this blog and for me to take down my previous posts. After a small bit of chat I told him that these posts would be staying put and they would not be removed.

The call from the police is evidence enough of someone trying to continue to exert control over me and my story; they are trying to intimidate, scare and silence me. But, this is what abusers do, they never see their own behaviour as problematic, they never see what they have done, they never apologise, but will try and change the narrative and make out that they are the victim, they are innocent, and nothing is their fault. So, let’s get one thing straight: these posts about what I went through with my ex-husband WILL NOT be taken down. And I will keep sharing factual, evidence-backed information that is MY story. I shall not be victimised, nor intimidated or silenced over what is MY story.

Here are some stats for you…

Up to 3.8 million people experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2025. Of that 3.8 million, 2,239,000 were women. (Source https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/domesticabuseinenglandandwalesoverview/november2025)

Nearly a third of women (30.3%) have experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16 (ONS, 2025a).  (Source https://womensaid.org.uk/what-we-do/research/domestic-abuse-the-facts/#:~:text=Nearly%20a%20third%20of%20women,partner%20(ONS%2C%202025b).)

Over the three-year period between the year ending (YE) March 2022 to YE March 2024, on average, at least one woman a week was killed by a male partner/ex-partner (ONS, 2025b). (Source https://womensaid.org.uk/what-we-do/research/domestic-abuse-the-facts/#:~:text=Nearly%20a%20third%20of%20women,partner%20(ONS%2C%202025b).)

Women have a right to feel safe and secure in their own homes, to not feel afraid or scared, and to never experience any kind of violence or aggression from their partner. And we have a right to tell our own story and not be silenced.

If you are experiencing any kind of domestic abuse, please consider reaching out to places like Women’s Aid who can offer support, advice and help.

If you are worried about a current or prospective partner’s past, consider Clare’s Law, or the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS), which is a UK police policy allowing individuals to formally inquire if a partner has a history of violent or abusive behaviour.